Don't say, "I can't do that.
Because our attitudes and behaviors flow out of our paradigms, if we use our self-awareness to examine them, we can often see in them the nature of our underlying maps. Our language, for example, is a very real indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people. The language of reactive people absolves them of responsibility.
Direct, Indirect, and No Control
The problems we face fall in one of three areas: direct control (problems involving our own behavior); indirect control (problems involving other people's behavior); or no control (problems we can do nothing about, such as our past or situational realities). The proactive approach puts the first step in the solution of all three kinds of problems within our present Circle of Influence.
Expanding the Circle of Influence
When we change one part of the chemical formula, we change the nature of the results. It is inspiring to realize that in choosing our response to circumstance, we powerfully affect our circumstance.
There are some people who interpret "proactive" to mean pushy, aggressive, or insensitive; but that isn't the case at all. Proactive people aren't pushy. They're smart, they're value driven, they read reality, and they know what's needed.
The Other End of the Stick
Before we totally shift our life focus to our Circle of Influence, we need to consider two things in our Circle of Concern that merit deeper thought -- consequences and mistakes.
While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. Consequences are governed by natural law.